March 2145
1 March 2145 ANCHOR: Kyle Swann responds to President Clarke's concerns about the CenBank AI. SWANN: I understand President Clarke's feelings, and I want to assure her that I am taking stringent measures to hobble the AI. The simple truth is, we need the programs that spawned the AI. Removing it means a byte-by-byte overhaul of all CenBank programs – months of down time. Global finances will be in chaos. There's a better way. I'll program safeguards into it. I'll monitor it, act as its keeper. The AI promised never again to plot against us. I'll see that it keeps that promise. 2 March 2145 ANCHOR: The toast of the Net? That appears to be the new status of M'ti, the Last Visitor, since his knock-'em-dead appearance on Late Net two weeks ago. Since then, everybody wants to interview the little guy. Late Net host Jay Cypherman explains why: CYPHERMAN: Of course everybody wants to interview him! I mean, what's not to like? He's bright, witty... he's very, ah, funny! And for a guy who doesn't even remember last year, he's a brilliant raconteur! (to his assistant) Could I get a minute alone?! M'TI: Everyone's being so niiice to me. It's so niiice to be liked by niiice people. Very nice! 3 March 2145 ANCHOR: A victim of exploitation? Not if President Clarke has a say. CLARKE: I've been concerned that the Last Visitor will be victimised by unscrupulous commercial interests. After all, he is a ward of the NAU. To protect him, I've asked Perry Epp to take M'ti under his ample wing. EPP: Let me serve notice on anyone out there with plans to take advantage of the little guy's good nature and naïveté. You want to get to him, you go through me first. And I ain't no babe in the woods. ANCHOR: In the Net, startling news in the latest issue of Doppelganger, the all-clone digital journal. In its outing section it names Captain Michael McDonald as a clone! No response yet from the captain. 6 March 2145 ANCHOR: A rising storm of outrage at the digital journal Doppelganger for its assertion that Team Europa's captain, the idolised Mike McDonald, is a clone. We asked President Clarke for her reaction. CLARKE: First off, what is everyone getting so upset about? Doppelganger is hardly an unimpeachable source – it's a couple of megahertz below A Current Byte. So let's not get carried away here. ANCHOR: But Madam President, what if the story is true? CLARKE: If it's true, it's true. I don't know what we can do about it. They're already on their way. And frankly, I simply don't believe it. He scored the highest on all the tests. What clone could do that? 7 March 2145 ANCHOR: Are you seeing golden clouds amongst the white? You're not hallucinating. It's seed release time for dandefox, the world's most popular decorative plant. Those golden clouds are clusters of dandefox seeds riding the wind. We asked DPS president, Caren Ginjerbu for her reaction. GINJERBU: Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it absolutely magnificent? And just think – this exquisite display will be repeated every month as billions of dandefox plants the world over go to seed. Beauty on the ground! Beauty in the air! What a blessing is the dandefox! A blessing of beauty from our red sister planet! 8 March 2145 ANCHOR: We asked Perry Epp how his guardianship of the Last Visitor is progressing. EPP: My, he's a popular little guy! Requests for interviews, public appearances and endorsements keep pouring in. ANCHOR: During the time you've spent with M'ti, have you been able to learn anything about his origins – where he's from, why he was sent here? EPP: Frankly, no. I've tried, believe me, but for all his new-found intelligence, he's still pretty much a moron about his past. ANCHOR: It was 140 years ago today that the old US state of Maine was renamed "King" after the bestselling author bought it. Maine-liners are still petitioning their government to restore the original name. 9 March 2145 ANCHOR: FTL asked Eugene Splice his opinion about the possibility of Captain McDonald of Team Europa being a clone. SPLICE: It's not a possibility that Captain Michael McDonald is a clone – it's a certainty! How do I know? Because he was incubated right here in the CloneStyles lab. But he's not just any clone. Captain Mike is a special hybrid woven from a number great human genotypes selected for their courage, loyalty, and intelligence. He's got bits of Sgt. York, George Patton, Audy Murphy, and Colin Powell in his DNA. We're not talking just any old clone here – we're talking a clone with one hell of a pedigree! 10 March 2145 ANCHOR: CloneStyles' confirmation that Team Europa's Captain Mike McDonald is a clone has shocked the world. FLAKE's Benjamin Droid was quick with his warning. DROID: Oh, this is perfect! Captain Mike isn't human. It's just like Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey. Only instead of having a paranoid supercomputer, we have a superclone! And the best part is... we put him in charge. Who says that "Life is like the Vids with the boring parts left in"? I mean, it just doesn't get any better than this! * BANNER: Mr. Droid's statement solely represents the view of himself and other FLAKEs. 13 March 2145 ANCHOR: From all over the globe, a deafening roar of protest, demanding that the World Congress recall Team Europa and abort Operation Reach Out. Perry Epp added his voice to the chorus. EPP: Who do you want making that first step onto the surface of Europa? A real man, or a clone? I know who I want. And it's not something cooked up in an incubator! ANCHOR: Dr. Winston Rylo has finally broken his silence on the matter. RYLO: I'll admit that this is as much a shock to me as to anyone. But Operation Reach Out is not an ego trip. It's a scientific mission. And if Captain McDonald can bring the ship safely to and from Europa, then I don't care if he's a clone or a Little Visitor! 14 March 2145 ANCHOR: Does Israel have a faster-than-light drive? Here's, Dr. Corley Irwin with the answer: IRWIN: Everybody knows you can't go faster than light. I mean, it goes from here to there – whoosh! – before you know it. Who can go that fast? Nobody, so forget it, forget it, forget it! But if you can slow light down, then you've got a chance to go faster than light. And that's what we're doing in Israel: we're slowing light down! Why the other day we had a flashlight beam going so slow that I myself beat it across the room, and I wasn't even tired. I wasn't even breathing hard! 15 March 2145 ANCHOR: There seemed to be some confusion yesterday about Dr. Irwin's explanation of the Israeli faster-than-light drive, so we've asked him back to elaborate. IRWIN: Perhaps I've over-simplified. You see, the real breakthrough was in creating artificial antimatter, which is stuff that hates matter. So when you put antimatter and matter together, hoo-boy, you better be careful. Unless you can keep all that commotion bottled up really tight and hitch it to this thing we've got that slows down light, then whoosh! – you can actually get someplace before you leave it. Which, as we all know, could be very, very handy indeed. 16 March 2145 ANCHOR: After almost two weeks of silence, Captain Mike speaks. McDONALD: I know there's mounting pressure to recall the Europa mission and remove me as its captain. This is a great mission for humanity. It will be the first encounter between an alien civilization and humankind. And how – many voices ask – can such a mission be headed by something that is not human? (a beat) But I ask you to remember this: I am of humanity. Inside me is the best genetic elements of humanity's greatest heroes. I represent more than a single person... I represent humankind's best. (a beat) I beg the World Congress to let me carry that standard to Europa. Let me continue to lead this mission. 17 March 2145 ANCHOR: President Clarke's reaction to yesterday's heartfelt plea by Captain Mike was swift and sure. CLARKE: I don't like being fooled anymore than the next person, but as one of the major funders of Operation Reach Out, it's the NAU position that the mission should continue. The cost of calling them back and starting all over again will be impossible. I say keep going and we'll deal with McDonald later. ANCHOR: Kyle Swann's reaction was equally swift – but it gives further evidence of a cooling of the Clarke-Swann detente. SWANN: I support the President's position, even through she's adopted it for the wrong reason. Clones are people and Captain Mike is the best person for the job! 20 March 2145 ANCHOR: Sicilian entrepreneur Armondo Corleone is in the news again selling another controversial item. CORLEONE: This is it, folks: the next big thing: the Mighty Morphin Power Prez. Here we have President Clarke as we knew her, the famous, powerful stateswoman. Now watch this. I just wave a hand over her and she becomes the famous, powerful statesbabe! * VISUAL: The image starts to change, then reverts to the original. CORLEONE: Heh. We gotta do that again. ANCHOR: There appears to be a few bugs in the software. CORLEONE: That ain't the only place there's gonna be bugs. I know a couple of mammalucca programmers, they're gonna be bug food when I get through with them! 21 March 2145 ANCHOR: Moved by Captain McDonald's impassioned plea from space, the World Congress voted unanimously today to allow the Europa mission to continue as planned. Captain Mike responds. McDONALD: I am grateful to the World Congress for their decision. I promise all the member combines that your faith is not misplaced. I will– * (signal interrupted by static) VR PRESENCE (static): No Europa! Squatront! OgthRod! Spafon Europa! No Europa! Squatront! OgthRod! Spafon Europa! * (more static) McDONALD (wiping a tear): –and so I thank you very much. ANCHOR: As you have just seen, transmission from the Europa mission was interrupted by the VR Presence with what is most certainly a warning. We can only hope that SHIVA can explain it. 22 March 2145 ANCHOR: SHIVA's Dr. Martin Bibo explains yesterday's manifestation of the VR Presence. BIBO: Well, I wish I could explain it. Once again, the signal has no discernible source, seeming to come from everywhere. ANCHOR: But what about the message? And those strange words... BIBO: Certainly a warning about Europa, but "squatront," "spafon," and "ogthRod"... they're not in any known dictionaries. SHIVA is mystified. I'd almost be willing to call back that Dr. Hawthorne. ANCHOR: FTL attempted to locate Dr. Hawthorne for his opinion but no one has seen him for weeks. He seems to have... disappeared. 23 March 2145 ANCHOR: Caught in the act! A freelance holographer captured a very cozy Kyle Swann and Elaina Cruz in the gardens of the Santa Fe Hyatt floatel. Last May, Elaina Cruz rescued Swann from certain death at the hands of the clone of Madeleine Clarke. Could it be she's trying to rescue him from the clutches of the new Madeleine Clarke? Sources at A Current Byte report that the President and Swann were seen arriving at a floaterball game together but leaving separately. Could the fragile Clarke-Swann détente be crumbling? Neither party is talking. 24 March 2145 ANCHOR: Armondo Corleone gets another chance to demonstrate the Mighty Morphin Power Prez. CORLEONE: Now watch as a powerful stateswoman morphs into an equally powerful statesbabe... * VISUAL: The image of the original Clarke morphs into the modified Clarke CORLEONE: Whatta ya think? Is this great or what? They are gonna sell like TFP calzones! ANCHOR: But President Clarke has returned to the Cher Institute. CORLEONE: What? You gotta be kiddin' me! You mean she's gonna have another new look? Madrone! She can't do this! I gotta whole warehouse full of these things, ready to ship! What am I gonna do? Hey, President Clarke – you say it ain't so! 27 March 2145 ANCHOR: FTL takes you live to a virtual press conference with President Madeleine Clarke, her first appearance since her recent stay at the Cher Institute of Image Redefinition. The conference is already in progress... CLARKE: –fuss about my appearance? It's irrelevant. ANCHOR: But Madam President – it is widely speculated that you reverted to your former physiognomy in reaction to Kyle Swann's recent rendezvous with Elaina Cruz. CLARKE: Absolutely unfounded. I dictate my appearance. And frankly, I found the altered appearance distracting and uncomfortable, so I simply opted to return to a simpler form. And that's all there is to it. That's the last question I will entertain on the matter. Subject closed! 28 March 2145 ANCHOR: Recently FTL presented an explanation of the Israeli faster-than-light drive by Professor Corley Irwin. But Israeli Prime Minister, Yakov Kanter has some shocking news about Professor Irwin. KANTER: Who is this Professor Corley Irwin? Where did you find him? Certainly not at the Tel Aviv Propulsion Lab. No one there has ever heard of him. I am shocked – shocked! – that FTL would give global credence to this imposter by interviewing him. ANCHOR: FTL assures the Prime Minister that the man presented excellent credentials– KANTER: Excellent forgeries! Let me assure you of this: When Israel perfects a faster-than-light drive – which is not to confirm or deny that we are actually working on such a thing – I will announce it to the world, not some meshuggener phoney! 29 March 2145 ANCHOR: Experts are still pondering the meaning of last week's manifestation by the VR Presence. But SHIVA's Dr. Martin Bibo says you may well have seen that last of the VR Presence. BIBO: While our trapping and locating programs are not working as well as we'd like, the blocking mechanisms are doing just fine. We were able to limit the Presence to a mere half-dozen words. And we've closed the code defect that allowed it in at all. The VR presence will not intrude on the Net again. ANCHOR: In other VR news, goggleheads are buzzing about another sort of presence in the Net: An elderly mystery woman who seems to have an almost spiritual effect on those who have encountered her. FTL is seeking her out. 30 March 2145 ANCHOR: The search for Cameron Grant continues. The leader of the renegade wing of "R" has been chased underground. And on [[Space Station Costello|Space Station Costello]], repairs continue. But the question lingers: Can we trust the clone work teams? DENSMORE: Of course I trust them. I worked side-by-side with them for years when I was on [[Moonbase Wilson|Moonbase Wilson]] and I can tell you they're tops. And I feel for them. Being a DNA adaptee, I've been on the butt-end of prejudice myself, and I know it hurts. You Earthies... you got real short memories, you know? Remember all those clones that died on the Seagull trying to save your hides? Instead of kicking clones around, you oughta be kissing their... feet! 31 March 2145 ANCHOR: Who is the Mystery Woman in the Net? FTL has tracked her down in Key West. Her name is Maria Gonzales, an elderly woman of indeterminate age and uncertain citizenship. She has no known address. Apparently she lives on George Smathers Beach. She declined to be interviewed, but Debbie Gonsher, one of her gogglehead followers, was less shy. GONSHER (dreamily): Our Lady of the Net... she's so special! She can do magic and... and she has... powers. ANCHOR: What sort of powers? GONSHER: Well, for one thing, she doesn't need a rig to jack into the Net. ANCHOR: Doesn't she need some sort of hardware? GONSHER: Not Our Lady. She does it with her mind! __NOEDITSECTION__ 2145-03